What purpose actually is (and what it isn’t)
There’s a lot of talk out there suggesting that to live a purposeful life, you need to have ticked all the right boxes — the career, the relationship, the life that looks good from the outside. For a lot of us, the idea of living your purpose or your dreams can seem like an unrealistic and deeply unattainable destination that we hope one day to reach. Like winning the lottery of life.
But here’s where that story falls apart. We are beings driven by end results rather than the journey itself. We think that if we can finally have that six-figure salary, we’ll be living our purpose and dream — or that if we have the family or the home, we will have met our purpose in life. And while this can be true for some, in my own experience, that version of life felt rather lacking and hollow.
Eastern philosophy would push back on this entirely. Dharma purpose as understood in yogic tradition — isn’t about attaining material status or satisfying the ego. It’s about fulfilling your truth, your inner duty, without attachment to outcome. You could be living your purpose through helping, teaching, or raising a family — in the Gita’s eyes, this is purpose, and it looks different for each of us.
To live a life of purpose, you’re working not just because you love it and you’re in flow, but because you have fallen in love with the work itself — and this kind of love benefits far more than just you. It radiates out into the world.
This might sound vast, even abstract. But stay with me because whether or not you consider yourself spiritual, you have likely felt a moment when you were in flow, or felt that something just fit. Where all time and space was suspended. This is because, for that moment, you were doing something that aligned with your values. Work didn’t feel like work. This, my friend, was a moment of purpose.
An important step in identifying your purpose, if you have no idea where to start, is to think for a moment about your values.
How do you find your values?
Your values, simply put, are the core beliefs you hold to be true — the ways you want to live your life and how you want to show up in the world. They might be:
- Kindness
- Integrity
- Family and deep relationships
- Teaching or sharing knowledge
- Joy and creativity
- Service to others
- Freedom or authenticity
Whether you’re conscious of them or not, these values shape your life, your decisions, your friendships and your goals — and they play a key role in how you identify your purpose.
The thing is, a lot of people walk around living these values unconsciously. But as Carl Jung said, until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you’ll call it fate. The magic is in living these values consciously — this is how you create purpose.
Why living in alignment with your values matters so much for HSPs and empaths
For sensitive people, the cost of living out of alignment with these values is high. We have easily overwhelmed nervous systems, finely tuned instincts, and untold amounts of empathy and compassion sometimes to the detriment of our own health, but that’s a post for another time.
The thing is, we need to be doing something or at least enjoying aspects of our lives that connects to our values and purpose. Otherwise our nervous systems suffer and we struggle to find meaning behind the work we do. The work always has to have a point. That’s why so many HSPs and empaths are healers, teachers, and carers. We’re often crushed and deeply bored by corporate environments — though I’m sure there are a few exceptions to that rule.
How your sensitivity is your greatest guide, not your greatest obstacle
If you’re a sensitive person stuck on your purpose, your sensitivity is the biggest guide you’ll ever have. You just need to learn to lean into it, rather than mask it.
A lot of my earlier life was spent burying my sensitivity, not knowing who I was underneath all the performing and people-pleasing. So many of us sensitives can relate to not wanting to let others down choosing the “right” thing over what we actually want, again and again.
I was lucky enough to feel my purpose the first time I walked into a yoga class at university, nearly fifteen years ago. And yet, despite my body and my heart knowing this was my path, I pushed it away — until eventually, not following my purpose led me to anxiety and workplace burnout. The truth is, your purpose will always find a way of catching up with you. There comes a point where you are given the choice to change direction, guided by something deeper — some of us take the leap, and some of us stay stuck, continuing a life that almost fits but never quite does.
The clues your life has already been leaving you
Tune into yourself and your environment enough and you’ll realise that your life has already been leaving you a trail of breadcrumbs. It might be in the work you currently do, the passion project you lose yourself in for hours each evening, or in the everyday ways you show up for friends and family without even thinking. Ask yourself — what do people always come to you for? What could you talk about or do for hours without noticing the time pass? If you sit in the stillness long enough, you’ll likely realise your purpose has been there all along.
What gets in the way for sensitive people specifically
The biggest block I see — in my past self and in my clients — is the deep, unwavering fear that if we live our purpose, we’ll let others down. Or that we’ll somehow be disliked or judged for our true talents and interests. While that fear can feel very real, it is deeply rooted in people-pleasing, and it keeps us stuck, safe, and small.
No great things were ever made by playing it safe. We have one life — and as Brené Brown wrote in Daring Greatly, we owe it to ourselves and to the world to show up fully. To dare greatly enough to live our purpose — not just for ourselves, but because this is what the world actually needs from us.
Purpose doesn’t have an expiry date either. David Attenborough, who recently turned 100, is perhaps the greatest living example of what happens when someone commits fully to their dharma — and the world is richer for it. Imagine what becomes possible when you stop letting fear make your decisions.
You don’t find your purpose — you remember it
This is one of the most important takeaways from today’s post. We don’t find purpose — it’s already within us. It’s something we’re born with. You might not recognise it as purpose yet, but there is a dharma we all carry, no matter how small. And it still has meaning.
If you enjoyed this post, let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear about your experience with purpose. Help spread the word and send this to someone else who needs to hear it.
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