Is It ADHD, Are You Highly Sensitive, or Are You Both?

The last three months have been a hell of a ride for me. For most of my late twenties, I assumed I was a highly sensitive person – hello, overly emotional, perfectionism, and a deep sense of justice. Then I discovered something else sitting alongside my high sensitivity: inattentive ADHD.

I’ve always been good at hyperfocusing. Creative ideas come easily to me, and I’ve genuinely got an imaginative mind. But my life has also carried intense periods of anxiety, burnout and depression. I pushed through most of it, managing what I could through the somatic work I teach.

I say this because I’ve spent a lot of my life building systems to manage myself. They’d work, then stop working. I constantly felt on edge, like I was paddling uphill while everyone else got there effortlessly. I’ve since learned why: ADHD, a condition increasingly recognised in high-achieving women who flew under the radar at school. We were the “good girls” – quiet, easy to teach, never once questioned.

I want to state this clearly: I have ADHD, but I am also, without question, a highly sensitive person. That comes with its own set of challenges. Rejection sensitivity affects a lot of ADHD people. Because it sits on a spectrum, it hits some of us harder than others. Sensitivity paired with ADHD also gave me a gift: I pick up on how people feel with real emotional depth, something people don’t always associate with ADHD.

Knowing that so many of my emotional reactions and my extreme sensitivity trace back to ADHD has been a relief. I wish I’d known this twenty years ago. Hello, quiet, underperforming, self-conscious child who watched the boys get all the attention.

So What Does Being Highly Sensitive Actually Mean?

Elaine Aron coined the term highly sensitive person (HSP). Her research identified something called sensory processing sensitivity: people with this trait experience the world more intensely, pick up on emotions easily, and reach overstimulation faster than most. Being highly sensitive isn’t a diagnosis. Think of it more as a character trait you’re born with, and around 20% of the population have it.

What ADHD Actually Looks Like in Women

ADHD and high sensitivity overlap so much that many people settle on “I’m just an HSP” and never get properly diagnosed. ADHD – attention deficit disorder, though honestly the name never made sense to me, since it’s too much attention, not too little – describes a neurological wiring that changes how we see, experience and interpret the world.

For me, it’s always shown up as never quite feeling good enough, struggling to fit in, and hating being micromanaged. Add high impulsivity and a hunger for novelty to that mix. It made my twenties fun. At thirty-three, it’s just exhausting. I used to wonder why I couldn’t feel content like everyone else seemed to. Turns out I had a serious case of the grass-is-greener syndrome – which, of course, it never actually is.

Women tend to present with inattentive ADHD, the type that flies under the radar until something deeply stressful sends our bodies into shutdown or meltdown and we can’t ignore it any longer. Inattentiveness might look like zoning out, feeling anxious or worried, chasing perfectionism, or taking a scattered approach to life. I used to beat myself up over all of it, until I realised none of it was my fault. We’re not the stereotype of the boy in the classroom with ants in his pants.

Why ADHD and High Sensitivity Overlap

HSP genuinely overlaps with ADHD, because a lot of HSPs also feel deeply overwhelmed by busy environments, the same way people with ADHD do. Both groups tend to feel things intensely (hello again, rejection sensitivity) and get affected by other people’s feedback and moods. Transitions are another shared struggle – something I know I personally get stressed by. I love the idea of spontaneity. Actually doing it, or navigating a big life change, is a different story.

This isn’t just my own experience talking. Research backs it up: adults who score high on the Highly Sensitive Person Scale also tend to score high on ADHD traits, and the overlap shows up most in emotional reactivity and how easily we get overstimulated. So if you’re someone who feels things deeply, there’s a real chance ADHD sits alongside that, or vice versa.

Where the two differ is worth naming too. HSP is a trait, an always-on sensitivity to your environment. ADHD is about how your attention and executive function are wired, and it can swing both ways: sometimes hypersensitive to stimulation, sometimes barely registering it at all. That difference explains why the two can look so similar from the outside while staying genuinely distinct underneath.

Why the Label Matters Less Than You Think

Getting clarity on whether you have ADHD is life changing. But I don’t love it when we get obsessed with labels. What actually matters is realising you have different wiring and different traits, then learning to work with your nervous system instead of against it, so you can honour your real capacity.

For me, that’s meant being selective about my environment where I can, not taking too much on, and leaning on regulating practices like yoga, intensive movement or dance. Managing ADHD often calls for more, since it usually needs strategies like refocusing. Because so many ADHD people also carry anxiety and depression, mindfulness (something I’m trained in) genuinely helps. It prompts you to slow down, observe your mind, and step off autopilot – a useful tool if you tend towards black-and-white thinking or catastrophising.

You’re Not Broken, You’re Wired Differently

Remember this: you’re not broken, you’re wired differently, and that’s a blessing. Who wants to be the same as everyone else, anyway? I’d choose a life with a creative brain and intense emotions every time, because I know my highs will always be worth it.

If you enjoyed this, I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Feel free to check out some of my tracks on Insight Timer too.

I also offer 1-1 coaching for highly-sensitive + neurodivergent women so they can step into peace, power and purpose and finally start living a life that feels like theirs. Book a free call to see if we’re the right fit!